Guide to pants off living
September 2005
Kunming
Tuesday, 13 September 2005
China. Strange paradox with juxtaposition coming at you from all angles; old, new, slow, fast, loud, quiet. LOUD! It never ended, well maybe at four or five in the morning. Here are some notes from my journal while I was in Kunming. The whole thing came as quite a shock.
...Kunming must be the hell where Taxi drivers go, except here they are re-incarnated as cyclists. Destined to ride around this city for all eternity. The cyclists here in Kunming - and there are many have the most frivolous abandon for their own safety. As do the drives of trucks, buses, minivans, cars, taxis and scooters. If you're on a bike here in China, you're just as likely to have a death wish; if a bumper from a bus doesn't kill you then the shit pouring from the exhaust pipe surely will.
...There are many types of bikes in Kunming too; old, rarely new, and many trikes which are kinda like the ute' of China. There is just no limit to the amount of stuff that a bike can carry. As a kid, I did a paper round; I had a basket and I carried a few hundred news papers. In China, that's nothin' - I'm gonna lug around seven-eight-nine office water bottles! Or perhaps I might rig up some kinda frame where I can carry eight crates of soda. Fuck it, if I have a trike my mate and I can lash a fucking six-foot-tall drinks fridge right on the back and we'll ride on down six lanes of traffic to relocate the fucker. Mad. Heroic. Seemingly normal for Kunming.
Posted by travo at 5:00:00 PM
Hong Kong
Friday, 02 September 2005
These are just a few notes that I scribbled down in my journal (yes with pen and paper) while I was hanging around in the hotel room. Bear in mind that this is my first visit to Hong Kong and also my first visit to Asia.
...Somehow old ladies, bent over and slow, manage to occupy the entire path. Swaying and shuffling all over the place making it seemingly impossible to get past them.
...I don't know why they'd bother to put a Disneyland here. Really. Every public transport ride in Hong Kong is more surreal, trilling + sensational than any themepark ride conceived. The streets are filled with sight after amazing sight and there are hundreds of light filled, air-conditioned, brightly coloured malls, plazas and shopping centres with some of the best shopping to be had in Asia. I mean Disneyland...why bother.
Of course the previous note was made before curiosity got the better of me and Meli and I actually went to Hong Kong Disney for the day, so my rant is no longer affected by my complete and utter ignorance of the Disneyland experience. Before Hong Kong Disney, the only other themeparks I have been to are Dreamworld (piss weak) and Sovereign Hill Ballarat. Need I illustrate my ignorance more?
...Here in Hong Kong they have mastered the art of the trolley. I'm sure that it's one of the unspoken secret martial arts. Requiring the keenest of balance, the greatest strength and the highest levels of agility. Pages could be written about it, with diagrams, illustrating the careful manouvers required to negotiate a trolley loaded with cardboard accross Nathan Road at 5pm in the evening on a Thursday night in the rain.
Posted by travo at 5:00:00 PM