Consumer :: Bovine
I feel like I'm standing on the edge of an existential precipice; who am I, what's my purpose, where am I going, what is my life course; live, love, consume, cease.
This feeling has been brewing. But it really started to crystalize into an idea when a friend (who recently moved into a new and beautiful house) mentioned a book she'd finished reading a book called Affluenza - The All Consuming Epidemic. I haven't even read this book, but the idea of it has started to resonate with me in a strange way.
I've been bugging the hell out of Melissa with nagging requests to buy stuff - a new computer, an electric piano, a plasma TV, a digital sound projector, new toys, crap, garbage. What's the point of all this stuff!? Some of it is for pleasure, enjoyment and relaxation. Some of it is to stimulate a deep and entrenched part of my being that wants to create.
But all of it is nonsense.
I work and I earn good money. I live very well. I have a beautiful soul-mate whom I love with every cell in my heart. I know she loves me equally. We have a cat. We have some beautiful friends and we love spending time with them.
What more do I need?
I need to think that I'm more than a cow, that goes to work, munches on hours to make money, to buy 'stuff' and then has to go back to work, to munch on hours...
I love having projects. Hey! - I just finished producing a DVD. It's been a great project, it is a real and tactile thing. I have collaborated with people who have shared an equal or greater passion to produce that DVD. It's been great. It's been fulfilling.
I've been a part of making something people want. Not wanting something people make.
How do I bust this cycle?